Some Early Christmas Thoughts...

I almost had a meltdown about Christmas today. Right in the middle of work. Something about it being November already. And so much “to do.” And the plight forming in my head that Christmas will be here. Then, gone before I realize it.


I don’t know if it has anything to do with this quarter life crisis that I have seemed to be going through the past couple of years. But the moments seem painstakingly slow, while the years gone in a flash (with what feels like nothing to show for them).


October through December are my favorite months, and I guess I’m not sure how to be fully present in the midst of them. I had a list of ideas of what I want this upcoming season to look like, but nothing really cohesive. Just a bunch of “rituals” that left a lump in the back of my throat. Social activities that could be potentially draining. Favorite traditions that I just feel like once completed, would leave me empty and wanting more.


I realized that this mini panic attack was really just a reflection of how I feel in every season of my life right now. I just want to feel like I’m actually living it. I don’t want to run myself ragged with “purposeful things that would be nice to do/accomplish”. But I also don’t want the resolution of retreating to my comfortable home, trying to conjure the spirit of it all solely with Christmas movies and cookie tin gluttony.


Not that there is anything wrong with all of the above. I just want to be intentional about it. I think I am just missing “the glue” that holds it all together...As much as I hate to admit it-I’m not really successful at keeping Christ the center of Christmas.


What if I meditated upon the humble beginnings of a boy that would grow up to save the whole world? What if that was all that mattered?


I’m not really a gift person, so that part of Christmas doesn’t stir much within me. But I love food. And I love family. And Christmas music. Christmas movies! Twinkle lights and garland. Snow(please, Santa?!)! Did I mention the food?


Those things are all great. And I won’t deny the fact that they are important. But they aren’t the most important.


Priorities and intentional direction. Those are my acts of obedience this holiday season. My lazy heart falters at the thought of discipline. Especially disciplining my mind to think a little less selflishly. But I think that is the only way I’m going to bring joy back into my favorite time of the year. It’s not the most glamorous or the most comfortable. But neither was God’s only son dying on a cross.


As I was thinking about my first step towards all of this, I was reminded of a book that I read about last week. - The Greatest GIft: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas by Ann Voskamp. I have not read any of her books yet, but I am always moved by the wisdom and eloquent words contained within her blog posts. I think her book will be a good step in the right direction.

2 comments:

  1. Love this, my friend. You are my friend soulmate. I'm convinced. I think you and I should have a Christmas date this year :)

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    Replies
    1. Seriously, woman! My life is more complete with you a part of it.
      And Christmas would not be whole without a date with you!

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