Growing Pains

This past year has been marked by a lot of pain. Not anything of the tragic type. More of the growing type. A push to die to self. It has made me quite anxious but I have really learned how much I truly need Jesus. Each and every day. 

There is acute depression brought on by a sudden, incredible loss. And then there is a chronic type that slowly eats away at your being. You have this feeling that you don't really know who you are or what you really want.  Rejection and disappointment, dreams put to the side. All of this rushing around and realism that just hits you like a ton of bricks. I used to live for the future, now I'm just trying to see what will eek me through each day. 

But thus is the process in having faith in someone greater, the One who truly holds your life in His hands. 

And I'm slowly learning that to have clarity and control aren't the most important things in life. 

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